A Clockwork Orange: free will vs a brainwashed "proper citizen"

    "Oh Bliss. Bliss and Heaven. It was goregeousness and goregousity made flesh.It was like a bird of rarest spun heaven metal or like silvery wine floating in a spaceship, gravity all nonsense now."-Alex DeLarge from A Clockwork Orange, originally a novel by Steven Burgess but adapted for film by Stanley Kubrick.
    I just recently saw this film and mostly it strikes me as a bad acid trip even while being a sarcastic commentary on morality, ethics, society's views on such, as well as the idea of free will VS brainwashing for the greater good of humanity.
    The "protagonist"(if you can call him that) alex seems to possess absolutely no moral fiber whatsoever. In the movie, he is brainwashed into "being good" but in reality he just feels deathly ill every time he is tempted to give in to his violent or malevolent fleshly desires.  There is no true change in his demeanor or his desires. And in the end, he reverts back to his immorality and debauchery as though nothing had changed. Because truly, it hadn't.
    "I've suffered and I've suffered and I've suffered and everyone just wants me to go on suffering."-Alex DeLarge
   

Footprints on my heart.

"Trying to forget someone you love is like trying to remember someone you never knew." -Unknown
    Yesterday I had a very good friend of mine walk away from my life. I don't why and she didn't really offer to explain it so I can't really do anything about it. If she for some unknown reason is reading this, she knows who she is.
    I won't waste my breath for too long I just wanted to say in case you did read this that I wish you nothing but the best. I'm sorry you felt like you you had to go. You will always be dear to my heart.

"Many people will walk in and out of your life, but only true friends will leave footprints in your heart" -Eleanor Rooselvelt

Feels a lot like flying...

    I was just recently traveling back to Jacksonville, North Carolina from seeing my sister and her husband in Columbus, Ohio over Christmas break. I had just boarded my second flight after a brief layover in Washington D.C. and the plane was just starting to speed down the runway for takeoff. I happened to glance at the girl sitting next to me and she was beaming with pleasure. I mean, her face was lighting up like she was a kid in a candy store or my dad at home depot. I watched her as we took off and began to ascend into the sky. After a minute I got her attention and asked what it was she was so elated about. She gave me a look like she thought I should be wearing a straight jacket. Then she said "I love flying." "Its okay I guess." I said back. I explained that I fly all the time, back and forth to Colorado, Ohio, and North Carolina because of my job and when i get time to see my family I take advantage of it. Then she said something simple, yet extraordinary. She said, "You're jaded from traveling all the time. Think about it. You're FLYING." Wow. I had NO response forthcoming.
    Life's little reminders like that always come at the most unexpected times and I think that a majority of the time we miss them because we are just too distracted or stressed or busy, or whatever excuse we might have at the time for not paying attention to the details. If we quieted our hearts and minds once in awhile, THINK of how many more times we would see past the daily grind, past the extremely irritating individual that you just want to stab in the jugular vein every time they open their mouth, and past how much you feel like your life is falling apart around you.
    I bring to mind the quote which has inspired the name for my blog,

"There’s a time when a man needs to fight, and a time when he needs to accept that his destiny is lost, that the ship has sailed, and that only a fool would continue. The truth is, I’ve always been a fool."  as stated by actor Albert Finney in character as Ed Bloom in the film Big Fish. 

   Take a minute and pay attention to the details. Live out loud. I promise you will feel like you're flying.
    

My ink. My tattoos all have great significance to me. I plan on getting more as well. I have eleven so far.

Located on the underside of my right forearm, this one says John Emmanuel Floodberg 1915-2000. He was my mother's father and out of all of my grandparents I am reminded most of him when I look at myself. I loved him and he loved his Benji as he used to call me.

This grizzly paw is right next to my grandfather's memoir because he reminded of a bear somewhat.

This is on the inside edge of my right forearm and the phrase has everything to do with how I view the world and the way we should treat those around us.

Bass clef on my right forearm. I love songs with a great, catchy bass line.

Outside edge of my right forearm. "Sic Transit Gloria Mundi" is a Latin phrase which loosely translates to: "The glory of man is fleeting" or "So passes the glory of man/the world."

Outside edge of my left forearm. This one is my name written using Elder Norse Runes. The English letter equivalents of them being B E N J A M I N

Treble clef on my left forearm. Some of the best tunes out there are created through use of a fluid melody.

 Sparrow with the word "Free" underneath it on my left bicep. Sparrows are majestic, graceful, and beautiful. I yearn to to have that kind of freedom that the sparrow possesses.

Surrealistic drawing of a tree with a celtic shield with a musical note on it and wings intsead of foliage with an acoustic guitar head emerging from the top and the roots of the tree wrapping around and smashing open the face of a clock whose time is set for the time of day I was born, around 4:15 am.

Close up of the clock portion.

Close up of the left half of the winged shield portion.

Located on my right shoulder blade, this is Gavin Monroe, my best friend and brother's(we're not related by blood but he's my brother where it counts) signature. He has MY signature on his right shoulderblade(shown below)

Underside of my left forearm. Dreamcatcher containing the Breaking Benjamin logo being utilized as the netting inside the catcher. The phrase along the side says "Dream Despite The Odds." Dreamcatchers are supposed to stop dreams. So despite the fact that you might be thwarted, never stop dreaming.

Just a few pieces of artwork. Nothing current to post yet but just wait and I'll have some stuff.

This is a pencil drawing I did when I was about 15 or 16 using a picture in a magazine as a reference.

Charcoal additive method reflective surfaces still life I did when I was 16

Charcoal subtractive method landscape done also at age 16

doodle I made using a number 2 pencil in my graphic design class for no reason beyond boredom.

Pen and ink portrait of my dog sophie using hatching, cross hatching, and stippling

Pen and ink still life

Cage The Elephant - In One Ear

More sheer awesome raw musical power from CTE(Cage the Elephant)

Cage The Elephant - Back Against The Wall

These guys embody modern punk rock in my opinion

Angels and Airwaves - Secret Crowds

"Give me your tired, your poor..."

"Give me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses yearning to breathe free, the wretched refuse of your teeming shore. Send these, the homeless, tempest-tost to me, I lift my lamp beside the golden door." -Emma Lazarus. These words, inscribed on the base of the statue of liberty, were meant to inspire immigrants coming to this country for a new start away from persecution and tyranny, however I think we can all get a practically applicable lesson from them. That lesson is love. We should all be looking out towards those who are tired, those who don't have enough money to scrape up food for themselves or their families, towards those masses of people who are hurting and need a friend. If we were all to lift our lamps beside our OWN doors for these people, we could begin to change this country and this planet. One of my absolute favorite bands in the universe is Angels & Airwaves. In the song "Secret Crowds", Tom Delonge says this "If I had my own world, I'd fill it with wealth and desire, a glorioius past to admire and places with kids out walking dogs, birds, planes, the cleanest cars. If I had my own world, I'd show you the life that's inside it, the way that it glows when you find it, the way it survives with its families, its friends or its enemies. If I had my own world I'd build you an empire from here to the far lands, to spread love like violence." I have that phrase tattooed on my right arm. I love that. The whole idea of it. If love were being spread the same way violence is spread in this world full of hate, death, disease, destruction, abortion, nuclear weapons, war, and the like, then I think we'd all see an entirely different earth.